Distractions....

There are distractions...and then there are distractions.

I wish for a distraction like this every damned day...



Ooh, to be right in the middle!! I'd SO take one for the team :-)

The French Rugby Team...photo from the Dieux Du Stade Calendar photo session, but I don't know if it's the '04 or '05 calendar. Special thanks to Mark and Michelle!! You two have made my weekend!

Okies, those of you who only wanted to look at the pic can go now, LOL!

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Unfortunately, my distractions run more toward the mundane.

I'll be in the middle of a hot scene ...."I push his legs back even farther, opening his ass wide..."

Hubby: "Hey, can you help me find the manual to my cell phone?"

Me: Stopping typing, looking at him like he's just ask me to go outside and wade back through ass-deep water while it's 50 degrees out and raining. "Um...I'm kinda busy right now."

Hubby: Puppy dog eyes. "I just want try to get the camera to work so I can send you some pics while I'm gone."

Me: Shoving down that voice that's threatening to sound really evil. Sigh. "Ok, but then I've REALLY got to finish this piece."

Hubby: "Thank you baby."

Me: "Um-humm, you'll think baby when my head starts spinning like the chick from the exorcist 'cause you won't leave me alone."

Here lately he's been pushing the envelope. Music is almost a necessity, but the TV is a big no-no when I'm writing. I'm so tired of Monster Garage, American Chopper, MadTV.

All freaking day long....

So not conducive to writing.

Now, he fully supports my writing, but he hasn't learned yet that I need some "office time" during the day that is just ME. He hasn't quite learned that he is as much of a distraction to me as the kiddos are. Lest you think I'm just being a bitch, well, I probably am...but anyway.

Hubby has been out of work since JUNE. Now, before you get the wild idea that he's being lazy and sitting around the house. Umm....No. He does go out and look for work nearby, and when he's not doing that, he's searching Monsterjobs and sites like that. But he seems to need the TV on in order to do any of it.

I think that with some help around the house and with the kiddos that I could have been finished with the book in August. I was there, the end was in sight....I knew I could do it if I just kept going.

Humm....almost like sex, I guess. A little to the left....

Almost....

Right there....

Oh yeah....that's it....

And then another shift...and everything you've been working toward is just gone. Leaving you feeling like you "almost" got off.

Well, I need to get my writing off. I need it to have the big O that it's been working toward for the past year.

Anyone want to babysit? 3 kids and 1 husband.

I can't promise they'll be good...only that they'll be distracting.

(sorry for the sex analogies...what do you expect from a fucking porn /erotica writer!)

Deadlines...

I've been sitting here at my desk all morning, trying to get something accomplished. I think there comes a time when you just have to walk away, take a breather, and see if anything happens when you come back. I got some emails returned, that's about it.

Deadlilnes...

Every time I look up, I see the print-outs for my various short-story deadlines. They've got big pink post-its stuck to the corner of the pages, screaming out the deadline date. Wanna see my list? (Just until March)

January = 3 different deadlines...6 stories
February = 2 deadlines...3 stories
March = 2 deadlines...4 stories

Doesn't sound like much, considering they're only 5,000 words a piece, except for one that's 15,000. But there are times that coming up with hot, steamy porn erotica is just difficult. Perhaps I'm just pressuring myself too much. Kinda like performance anxiety.

Oh, I know...maybe I just need to watch porn!!

Anyway, the deadlines do NOT include the vampire novel I'm supposed to be working on, nor does it include my work on finishing up Target (On the Edge, whatever you want to call it). I've ABSOLUTELY got to finish the vampire novel. If I don't get it done, it'll be late 2006 before it's out on the market.

Damn.

You remember that movie "Freaky Friday"? Well, my thought is that I need to run into Nora Roberts. That woman can hammer out a book in no time! Perhaps we can just switch bodies for a little while. A couple of months, then I should be caught up and good to go.

Oh wait, she's a best-selling author, an author that gets paid! I just might want to make myself comfy in her place. That would piss off her readers, lol. They'd wait a year for a new book instead of months. That, and the fact that she'd no longer be a best-selling author if I was in the saddle.

Woohoo...off to stare at my files again.

Thanksgiving...

So, today is Thanksgiving. Oh joy....

I'd love to just stay home. But I guess being with the hubby's side of the family is important, especially this year. My mother-in-law lost her mother last year and a husband and a father this year. I guess being her support this year is going to be something she needs.

Alrighty, now I must go get the kiddos dressed.

I hope that wherever you are you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving...just have a wonderful day!

What's worse than...

Wading across ass-deep water? Wading across ass-deep water when it's 60 degrees, with the cold north wind blowing at 25-30 mph, then having to work in those wet clothes.

But, pump was pulled again and hubby attached foot valve. I nearly froze my ass off waiting for all of the PVC pipe and glue to dry. Finally, it's dry enough and we wrangle the 2 sections of 100 foot pipe. By the time we got most of the pipe back down the well, my back was killing me. But, hubby gets it wired and I trudge back through all of the deep water to the electric box and flip the switch.

Low and behold......we have water. Woohoo!! My job is done and hubby says, "I knew you were good for something". I give him my most evil glare and all he can do is grin.

I come into the house and turn the water on to clear the air from the lines and with the smell of the water, I have to open the windows. I like bleach...when I do laundry...but that's it. But, being as that is the only way that we can disinfect the well, this is the price we pay.

At about 6 p.m., the water was deemed fit for use. Not for drinking just yet, but good enough to wash clothes and dishes. Never thought I'd be so happy to wash dishes.

I was able to fix our septic system problem on my own. I was able to reset everything in the control box and stop those damned sprinklers from going non-stop. Yay, for easy fixes!!

Anyways, I'm off to watch Chronicles of Riddick....I hope I like it as much as Pitch Black. Oh well, it's Vin Diesel. If nothing else, I can close my eyes and just listen to his voice.

Who the hell did I piss off?

I must have pissed someone off....God, Lady Karma, the Fates, the weather gods....someone.

Went to the funeral on Saturday. It rained. I hate being in the cemetery when it's raining. Makes me think of "The Crow". Odd, but true. It was surreal...like the scene out of a movie where everyone is standing around the coffin, crying, tissue in one hand and an umbrella in the other.

Went to the "lunch" after the funeral...held at a Baptist church. One of "those" churches, just like my Dad's. All of the little old church ladies standing in the kitchen, peeking out through the dividers, looking at the family. Plastic smiles on their faces when you catch them looking.

I didn't eat a thing. Looked at the table and my stomach turned. I bet that every dish on that damned table was made with cream of mushroom soup being one of the main ingredients. Not necessarily a problem for most people. But for me...yes. I'm allergic to mushrooms. (Although my mother frequently tries to feed them to me anyway. Feel the love.)

Came home and it was still raining. Rain at our place is a bad, bad thing. We live in a very low area, prone to flooding. We also live at the dead end of a mile-long dirt (yes, dirt, with huge potholes and all) road and you really need a 4X4 to get to us. I swear, it sounds bad, but the no neighbors thing is really cool!

Sunday morning we get up and we suddenly have lake-front property. 28 acres of it. And yet, it was still raining.

And then, joy of all joys, I flip the handle at the kitchen sink and the only thing that happens is this gurgling sound -- and no water. I call hubby away from his "Monster Garage" episode or "American Chopper", some sort of mechanical/building show....and I tell him to go check the pump and make sure that the ants aren't clinging to it for dear life. They make a habit of doing that when the water gets high.

He goes out and about half an hour later he finally comes in and says, "The pump is fucked."

I'm suddenly counting just how many bottles of water we have in the fridge and in the cabinets and thankfully, we've got enough water for a small army -- or, at least enough for 5 people for a few days. Um-humm....unless you want to count washing dishes and cooking with it. Oh boy...

Water, water everywhere -- and none of it fit for use.

School was canceled on Monday. Most of the major roads around here were flooded and closed off. The hubby couldn't get out to go get a new pump.

Then, the septic system suddenly has an alarm going off -- a very loud buzzing noise, with flashing red lights to go with it -- too much rain water covering the underground tanks. The sprinklers are going off continuously and I just know that our delicately balanced Norweco system is VERY unbalanced at this point. The reset button doesn't reset a damned thing. Calls to the service people are being handled in the order that they came in. Lovely.

Today, the water was down a bit and hubby went and bought the new pump and 100 foot of new pipe to send down the well. There was one point in pulling the old pump that hubby mentions, "we can't let this piece break off or we're screwed". As if the Fates themselves heard that, ten minutes later the pipe broke off and down the well it went. Hubby cursed and threw the channel-locks to the ground and just looks up at me with a "what's next" expression, then says, "I think it'll be ok. I just need to set some new pipe into the hose."

I just shake my head, 'cause this kind of thing is just normal, and I have this sinking feeling (one that I don't voice) that his idea is not going to work. I've paid enough attention to know that whatever we need to go right, will insist on going wrong.

Well, after working on that all day, pulling the old pump and pipe and trudging through ass-deep water, we get the new pump set. On comes the power and the pump is not pumping water. Apparently, the little piece of pipe that threw itself down the well has a "foot valve" on it.

Great.

Tomorrow, we get to do all of that shit all over again. Can't you just feel the joy that I'm radiating at this point?

I won't even go into the problems with my ISP. I'll save that for tomorrow, LOL!

Tonight, I'm sitting here going trying to get caught up on some emails, and we have another storm pass through. This one brings a tornado that skims along side the house. No real damage, some tree limbs down and some shingles missing, but otherwise not too bad.

As I'm writing this, I can hear the thunder rumbling outside again. I can only hope that this is going to end soon.

Now, I really need to figure out who I've pissed off.

I'd like to make amends :-D

Ooh, Contributor's Copies...

I just received my contributor's copies of Ultimate Gay Erotica 2005 in the mail today. I didn't expect the editorial assistant that I've been working with to get them out to me so quickly, but the doll she is, sent them to me Priority Mail.

I ripped open the box and was able to confirm with my own eyes that the cover I've had as a jpeg on my screen for months, is now hard copy in my hand.

Yes, I grinned like a damned fool!!

I was so delighted that my story was in what I see as a good place in the book. Not at the beginning. Not at the end. In the middle, sandwiched in between M. Christian and Christopher Pierce. How great is that?!?!

And they spelled my name right!!! 50 extra points to Alyson!

The book will be in the bookstores on December 14th, 2004 and is available now for preorder from Amazon.

Anyways....just wanted to share.

I'm off to go act like a writer or something :-)

(after I go drool over read my newest issue of MEN, that is)

Just passing it on...

I got this through one of my writing groups and I thought it was too important not to pass on.

Visit the Varnish Fine Art website for more information.

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The Big Love Show: A Benefit for Paul Willis
November 13, 8:00 pm - 12:00 am
Varnish Fine Art
77 Natoma Street at 2nd Street, San Francisco, CA
Website: www.varnishfineart.com
Admission: $5 - $20

If you will be in the San Francisco bay area on November 13, I'd like to invite you to a very special - and very humanitarian - event. Our friend Paul Willis is a well-known queer writer and editor from New Orleans. He is also a longtime supporter of queer writers in his roles as Executive Director of the Tennessee Williams Literary Festival and founder of the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival, an alternative literary festival for the LGBTIQ community. This year, Saints and Sinners raised over $10,000 for the AIDS Task Force of New Orleans.

This past May, after a night out with friends, Paul walked another home. As he made his way back, he stood on a corner in front of a convenience store smoking a cigarette. A van pulled up and four teenagers jumped out and attacked him for being a gay man outside the French Quarter after dark.

In a matter of minutes, they had beaten him so badly surgeons were convinced he would lose his right eye. Despite the heroic efforts of several young women in the convenience store who rushed out to help Paul and get his attackers' license plate number, they disappeared with his wallet-and have yet to be found. Despite the efforts of a slowly reforming New Orleans Police Department to treat this as a hate crime. Despite a reward offered by Anne Rice on local television.

As for Paul, he has undergone hours of surgeries to restore his eye and his eyesight. He can now distinguish light from dark, but doctors are hopeful they can further improve his vision. The surgeries and medical bills continue.

To thank Paul and his partner, author Greg Herren, for their constant championing of queer artists, Michelle Tea, Greg Wharton, and Ian Philips are hosting THE BIG LOVE SHOW to raise money to help with his medical bills, and to raise awareness that hate crimes happen every day to people whose only crime is to exist.

Emcees: Michelle Tea and Ian Philips DJing by DanielA slide show by Sux and Elissa Performers scheduled to appear: Dodie Bellamy, Susie Bright, Patrick Califia, The Chainsaw Chubettes, Justin Chin, M. Christian, Tina D'Elia, Juba Kalamka, Kelly Kegger, Kevin Killian, Martin Pousson, Kirk Read, Simon Sheppard, Chelsea Starr, Sage Vivant, and Greg Wharton

If you wish to donate funds directly to Paul Willis, please contact Ian Philips at ian@suspectthoughts.com, or send a check or money order made out to "Paul Willis" to:

Suspect Thoughts Press
2215-R Market Street, PMB #544
San Francisco, CA 94114-1612

Bad Monday...

This is NOT a way to start off the week.

Every time I find a show I LOVE -- it comes to an end. I don't watch much TV at all. But there are certain shows that I just cannot do without. Really. It's like an addiction.

And now...

Six Feet Under is being buried. After this season there will be no more.

*goes off to sulk in a corner*

The quest for an agent...

The time has come again. I need an agent. Not because I've made the big time, but because there are houses that I want to submit to, but can't on my own. Damn that unsolicited manuscript rule. I know, I know...it keeps out alot of the crap -- but still. It's hard enough to find an agent that takes on clients that write smutty romance, but smutty gay romance?!?

Why now? Why go through this torture again?

THE major novel, that has consumed the last 10 months of my life, is coming to an end. And now, as I'm doing revisions/rewrites, I've realized that I want to have a choice of publishers to submit to.

Publisher A takes queries, which is good enough for me. Unless I think about writing them, of course. But I know I at least have the chance of them asking to see sample chapters or even the full manuscript.

Publisher B, I only accepts agented submissions unless you're going for one of the imprints. Like Pulisher A, they also offer an advance, but the royalty is a bit higher. There is also the fact that they could also make an outright purchase.

Both A & B publish smutty gay romance :-)

*sigh*

Unfortunately I've been on this "quest for an agent" before and have been turned down by some of the biggest agencies. Perhaps I had my hopes a bit too high when I submitted to Writer's House -- but hey -- can't blame a girl for trying.

So now, I'm sitting here thinking of all of the queries and cover letters I have to write, and I just want to cry. I can write anything else, but ask me to write a letter and the little wheels in my blonde brain, just cease to turn.

An editor I chatted with said, "Oh don't worry, you'll do fine. Just be brief and tell them exactly what you want".

*looks skeptical*

Yeah...sure. Brevity has never been my stong point. Just consult my 250,000 word count novels to find that out.

Telling them what I want without sounding like a complete moron? mmm' humm..........

Anyone want to write some letters?

Cute little video...

Oh my God!

I just had to share this little video. It takes a few minutes for it to load on the page, but it's SO worth it. Incredibly cute!!

But alas...

*sniffle, sniffle*

It spawned a few tears.

Help finding a name...

Does this guy look familiar? Anyone have a name for him?

I got the pic from a friend, and he thinks the guy is a COLT model.

I'm not as familiar with COLT as I am with MEN, but figured that maybe someone else might have a name.


I would be ever-so-grateful and I'd worship you forever.

Ok, maybe not forever....are the next 24 hours ok?

Not a good day....

I sat here at the desk last night monitoring websites and the TV as I tried to write. I'd done my part -- I voted -- and all I could do was sit back and watch the outcome. Needless to say, I didn't get a damned thing written. Ok, maybe just a tad....like, part of a sex scene. An angry sex scene though....so I don't know if it'll get to stay.

By 3 am...I couldn't stay awake any longer. I crawled into bed, feeling sick, depressed, and totally disgusted -- knowing deep down that Ohio was out.

Oh yeah, I woke up very pissy at 6 this morning. It didn't help that the ass hubby was walking around pointing at the TV saying, "Oh yeah, Bush is IN".

I REALLY wish I could find those darts. I'd SO nail his ass with them.

America is a scary place to be at this point. The ramifications of having THE VILLAGE IDIOT Bush as president for a 2nd term will last way longer than the 4 years that he's in office.

I'd like to crawl into a hole for a while and hide...cause that's what I'm good at most of the time...

But I just can't do it anymore.

No more hiding.